I go inside her room, so scared at what she could be crying about. Tears and screams from a child like her are terrifying, I have to be honest. My heart ends up in my feet and my mind spins about what is wrong. So many children like her have woken up screaming only to have their lives changed so drastically.... all having a metabolic or mito crash. So scared and running I go...
What is wrong baby, (the only time I can get away with calling her baby) "Mommy what was that noise, I'm scared" Noise? What noise? I didn't hear any noise. "I'm scared mommy, what was that noise, please can I go to your bed"? Tears flowing down her face and terrified, I grab her, and disconnect her feeding line from her extension tube. She is holding me so tightly we go across the hall to mommy and daddy's bedroom.
Get into bed and she buries her head into my chest, the next thing I know she is asleep - I can tell because her limbs are jerking and twitching and I hear her sigh. I'm in shock and so very happy at the same time. Reiley has NEVER, I repeat, NEVER fallen asleep on me and in bed with me. NO not even as a baby. The only time she fell asleep on my chest was when she was on deaths door in the hospital and I wouldn't say it was falling asleep more like just passed out. So here I am awake feeling my baby girl twitching and jerking and sleeping with her head buried in my chest. (She jerks and twitches because of her periodic limb movement disorder) She slept for 2 hours while I just lay there thinking how great it was to have her snuggled up with me. Something that had not happened the 4 years 10 months and 29 days previous to that moment.
She woke up and asked me what was for dinner. ROFL... Um, Chicken - why do you ask? Dee-li-cious she says. LOL! She goes on to tell daddy and I how much she loves us and then back to asking us what the noise was that scared her. No idea love, no idea.
Today I had to go get lots of x-rays done of my neck and back. I felt like a pretzel and didn't help my pain any. I went to Walmart to go get some things that were going to be money makers as I needed oil for my car. My cashier told me she needed to do coupons after she saw that my $43 dollar bill dropped to $1.51 and I had 20 boxes of Kleenex, 4 boxes of gain fabric softener sheets, 2 gain dish washing soaps, 2 boxes of fruit cereal bars, 1 box of toddler cookies, 1 package of panty liners, 2 tide 1 load packs, 1 Quart of motor oil and a funnel for the oil.
Back home and because I still had some time before needing to start dinner I took Reiley up to the park in our subdivision.. we took some of the old bread to feed the ducks who I think would've eaten us if we had gotten too close.
The rest of the night has been a roller coaster with her. She is happy, sad, scared and crying, angry and hitting and last feed she ran away from me screaming she didn't want her tubie.... she is now ready for bed and wearing the 3rd pair of Snuggle Luv leg warmers I won under her pj bottoms... I think I'm going to have to buy more of those, she LOVES them so much!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment